Obama chuckles

Mohammed: Osama, you shouldn't have called, they're tracing all calls.

Osama: Don't worry. We have a new ally. There is no longer anything for us to fear.

Mohammed: What are you saying? Who is this new ally.

Osama: It's the Baby Satan, Joe Scarborough. I caught him on "Morning Joe."

Mohammed: I over slept. What's he now up to?

Osama: He's working to convince his country, the Big Satan, to stop using drones.

Mohammed: I can't believe it! The drones are doing to us what we did to the Russians with Charlie Wilson's stinger missles. Are you sure you fully understood "Morning Joe?"

Osama: Of course I understood him. He even explained his rational, if that's what it's called.

Mohammed: Okay, I'll bite. What was his "rational?"

Osama: It's really much too stupid, but here it goes: He says that, if his Big Satan doesn't stop using drones, our al-Qaida, and our freedom fighters, and our jihadists will all get angry. He says that his country's drones are killingt too many civilians and that this will turn our people against the Big Satan.

Mohammed: What a nincompoop! But maybe he's right. Maybe we should stop killing the medical people belonging to their various NGO's? Maybe we should stop killing the teachers they send to our villages? Maybe we should stop blowing up the engineers they send to build these stupid roads? Hey, Osama, I'm kidding. But what I don't understand is why he thinks his violence is so bad? We love for our misguided civilians to die, but his Big Satan doesn't. When they kill civilians it's just something called "collateral demage."

Osama: That's the trouble with you, Mohammed. You're always fighting and plotting, fighting and plotting. You should learn to sit back and listen more to what the Big Satan says. Make the time, Mohammed. Okay, I'll explain it to you. First they thought our fighters came from the ignorant masses. That was insulting. I'm certainly not from the masses. You're not from the masses. That guy from Yeman, his father was Minister of Agriculture. And, the Kenyan, he too had a father who was a big shot.

Mohammed: Okay, I get it. And, maybe they now get it too. But, what's their latest theories about us.

Osama: They have no theories. And, that's the good news. An ignorant enemy is the best kind.

Mohammed: But with their drones, what makes them so ignorant?

Osama: First, they didn't invent the drones. It was the Zionists, the Little Satan, who did that. Only later did Big Satan wake up and come to the realization that his Boeing could make drones too. No, what makes them stupid is that they can not understand that our will, our strength, our ultimate victory comes from Allah, the merciful. They can't understand that our object is to make the the unbelievers bow and accept Sharia.

And, as final proof of their stupidity is their having a president who won't permit his people to use such words as "Islamic fanatic," or "Jihadist." It's something they call "politically incorrect."

Mohammed: I can't believe it. It makes me really, really mad. I take great pride in being an Islamaic fanatic. I take great pride in being a proud Jihadist. This Big Satan gets me really pissed.

Osama: Me too Mohammed. But it does work in our favor, so always give thanks to Allah.